The authors of a new study are calling for reform after concluding that poverty hurts the poor.

“Our studies show that the poor are less likely to obtain higher educational degrees, less likely to own their own homes, less likely to live in expensive neighborhoods, less likely to drive nice and new cars, and less likely to retire early,” said Garry Smith of Socialists United for Conscience and Kindness.  “They are also less likely to have high paying jobs, less likely to take expensive vacations, and less likely to have large bank accounts.”

The study found that there are hundreds of millions of Americans who have less money than someone else.

Smith is currently working on a study to determine why sick and injured people tend to use hospitals more than healthy and fit people, and will subsequently conduct a study to determine why people in prison tend to be criminals.

So says an Associated Press story featured prominently on Yahoo! News.  What’s next – an article on how the Associated Press is underreporting on CodePink?

These people should go protest outside terrorist camps.

“You can't be green and be pro-war," said co-founder Benjamin. "In general, both parties have kept us down this militaristic path and neglected our basic needs."

Hey, genius!  You are responsible for meeting your own basic needs.  The federal government is supposed to protect us from foreign enemies, using force if necessary.

So Roseanne-whatever-her-name-is-these-days is badmouthing Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt?  Rosey supports Obama and may not like that Angelina has yet to enthusiastically endorse Obama.  However, I also think there is jealousy at work here.  Angelina Jolie is incredibly attractive and Roseanne is... much less so.  Maybe, just maybe, Jolie inherited some sense from her father.  I haven't paid close enough attention to Jolie and Pitt to have a strong opinion on them.

Obama, Cinema, and Bigfoot - Oh My!

Obama, VP Choice to Campaign Together Saturday

Will it be Paris Hilton or Fidel Castro?


"Mamma Mia!" Seeks Audience Participation

Universal aims to pump up Labor Day weekend grosses for its hit movie musical "Mamma Mia!" by presenting "Mamma Mia! The Sing-Along Edition" in select theaters nationwide.

I don't know - now that gays are marrying each other, they probably don't have as much time, money, or motivation to go to the movies.


Researcher Thaws Out "Bigfoot Corpse": Just a Rubber Gorilla Suit

He plans to thaw out Al Gore next.

The woman who teamed up with Tom Cruise to try to revive movie studio label United Artists has left the company, saying that she is tired of replacing the furniture in her office after every meeting in which Tom Cruise gets excited.

From the Associated Press coverage by Solvej Schou, we get this knee-slapper:

The studio flopped on its first production attempt with last year's political thriller "Lions for Lambs," which was estimated to have lost about $30 million. Wagner has said the company took a modest financial risk with the film but its symbolic benefits were invaluable.

Translation: I’m willing to lose my money and that of others on a poorly done film as long as it bashes American efforts to reduce the ability  of Islamofascists to commit terrorist acts.

Actually, I'm not so sure.  Isaac Hayes was a Scientologist and I don't know where Bernie Mac put his faith.  For all I know, Mac is telling jokes to Jesus and Hayes is hanging out with L. Ron Hubbard.

Because they want to!

Somehow, I don’t expect the feministas to whine about this “life expectancy gap” the way they whine about the non-existent “pay gap”.

The only time they note that men die before women is in warning women against caring for their husbands.  “Don’t do that!  He might die!  You should be working outside the home, letting strangers raise your children and neglecting your husband!”  Yes, he might die and leave you with the life insurance money.  But he is definitely more likely to leave if you neglect him.

Here’s a roundup of news found this morning on Yahoo News.  Sort of.

Source: Gotti Arrested on Murder Conspiracy Charge
Me: I Didn’t See Nothin’

Why can’t the authorities stop persecuting this wonderful family?


Oil Falls as Low as $118 on Demand Concerns

It’s all Bush’ fault that some oil business people are going to lose money.


S. Koreans Fire Water Cannons at Bush Protesters

Have you ever smelled Bush protestors?  What’s that we always hear about how we should be more like other countries?


NASA Lander May Have Found Toxic Substance on Mars

Wow, Bush really gets around.  First, he makes Mars get warmer.  Now, he’s dumping toxic waste there?


Women's Channel WEtv to Make Original Movies

Will they really be original?  We all know from Lifetime: the villain is the man.  He’s why bad things happen to intelligent, beautiful, successful, educated, innocent women who are good mothers and great dates.


Metallica to Release New Album on September 12

But you can download if for free right now!  Yippee!

You explain what her daughter’s been up to for the last five years, and the media reaction to it.

Here’s a roundup of news found this morning on Yahoo News.  Sort of.

Investment Advisors Recommend Disney Theme Park Tickets Over Disney Shares

With the price of admission to Disney theme parks in the U.S. rising much faster than shares of Disney stock, investment advisors are recommending the admission “passports” over the stock.

Previously: Harry Reid to Call For Disney Investigation, Tax


Invasive Species Bills Stuck in Congress Over Concerns if Might Inconvenience Illegal Aliens

Leaders are calling for “comprehensive invasive species reform” to bring the millions of plants and animals already here “out of the shadows” as God’s creations.  Dems object to the language “creations.”


Study: Restaurant Kids' Meals Loaded With Food Kids Like

Who knew?

The report recommends restaurants reformulate their menu items to be completely unappealing to children.


President’s Policies Reduce Irresponsible Consumerism

That would be the headline to this story if a Democrat was President.


Paris Hilton's Mom Takes Offense at McCain's Humor

Wow, McCain’s ad must either be really offensive, or Kathy Hilton has not been desensitized by daughter’s home videos, television show, or (lack-of-) clothing choices.

Or maybe she’s just been to a seminar.

Consistent with the Democrat reaction to oil profits and prices, Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid is expected to call for an investigation into The Walt Disney Company’s unexpected 9% gain in profit while admission prices to Disney theme parks continue to rise faster than inflation.  Such profiteering!  He is also expected to propose a windfall profit tax on Disney.

Or, maybe he won't be consistent.

With U.S. District Judge Larry Alan Burns’ decision to allow the Latin cross to remain as part of a long-established memorial on Mt. Soledad, the U.S.A. officially became a Methodist nation, adopting the religion as the official national religion.

At least, that’s the only way the ACLU’s vow to appeal on First Amendment grounds makes sense.

From Los Angeles Times staff writer Jia-Rui Chong’s story:

In his ruling Burns agreed that the cross is the preeminent symbol of Christianity, but said "it does not follow the cross has no other meaning or significance." He pointed to the exhibits on public beaches, such as Santa Monica's, where the group Veterans for Peace uses crosses in the sand to represent U.S. service members who died in Iraq.

Those Lefties have to be so happy about helping to make the case for keeping the cross.

No word on when the Los Angeles County Board of Supervisors will be restoring the cross to their county seal in light of this ruling.

Democrat leaders are announcing that they are "outraged" that the economy is growing and that troop deaths are down in Iraq.

"How dare President Bush play politics with the economy and the lives of soldiers in a way that will make it more difficult for Obama to get elected?" asked one senior Democrat operative.  "Clearly, he isn't in touch with those Americans who want to complain."

With the House of Representatives apologizing for slavery and Jim Crow, I wanted to take a moment to apologize for the movie “Ishtar”.

I had nothing to do with the movie, but then nobody in the current Congress had anything to do with slavery.  I just wanted to express my regret over “Ishtar”, especially to any black people who saw it.

He was arrested in a murder case in Mobile, Alabama.

Investigators believe the victim was Arletha Hopkins, the wife of the suspect, Anthony Hopkins.   A woman’s body was found last night in a chest-type freezer at the couple’s home on Ryland Street.  Police say the body was covered in a sheet.   It appears to have been in the freezer for several years.   Investigators say the discovery was finally made when the oldest child, who is 19, accused Anthony Hopkins of sexual abuse.   The 19 year old told police about the body.   There were six other children in the home.   They have been taken into protective custody.

Investigators say Anthony Hopkins is a preacher.   At the time of his arrest, Hopkins was found at a church in Jackson, Alabama, where a revival was taking place.

This will probably hurt his film career.  I mean, a preacher?  A revival?  Hollywood won’t stand for that.  

Hopkins is charged with murder and sodomy.

Well, maybe Hollywood can cut him a break after all.

Dr. Edgar Mitchell, an astronaut, revealed on-air that he’s seen the hit movie “Men in Black”, which he spoiled for other people who still haven’t seen it by revealing the following spoilers:

--Extraterrestrials have visited Earth many times.

--Governments have repeatedly covered up alien contact.

--The aliens look strange.

--Some of our advancements in technology come from the technology the aliens are using.

Mitchell did not offer a critique of the performances by Will Smith or Tommy Lee Jones.

He plans to watch "Splash" soon, after which he will reveal that mermaids look like young blond women and their tails turn to legs when they are dry.